Favoriting Too Much Information with Benjamen Walker: Playlist from August 5, 2013 Favoriting

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Too Much Information is the sober hangover after the digital party has run out of memes, apps and schemes. Host Benjamen Walker finds out that, in a world where everyone overshares the truth 140 characters at a time, telling tales might be the most honest thing to do.

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Favoriting August 5, 2013: Online Dating with Chiara Atik: Andrea Silenzi Guest Hosts

Join guest host Andrea Silenzi for a look at the trials, tribulations, unwitting self-discovery and unshakable shame behind ONLINE DATING. She'll be joined for the hour by special guest Chiara Atik, the author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide from the Experts at HowAboutWe. As a dating writer, Atik has test driven all the niche dating websites -- from J-Date to FarmersOnly.com. Plus, Grandma Phyllis and your calls.

Join TMI for a live remote broadcast on Monday, August 26th from 6-7pm at McNally Jackson Books, 52 Prince Street in NYC.

Listen to this show: MP3 - 128K | Pop-up listen Pop-up player!

Artist Track Comments
Beex  Beat Beat   Favoriting Get it on the Free Music Archive 
Grandma Phyllis    She met my Grandpa Sol on Classifieds2000.com in 1998. This is what she looks like:

 
Podington Bear  Wind Up Toy   Favoriting Get it on the Free Music Archive 
Chiara Atik    She's the author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide from the Experts at HowAboutWe. This is what she looks like:

 
Jim the Poet    He called in to ask me on a date, which will be the subject of next week's show. This what he looks like:

 
Riz Ortolani  Cannibal Holocaust Theme   Favoriting Thank you for listening! Join me as I guest host for the next 2 weeks. Let me know if you have any stories for the show about love, dating or technology by sending a note to andrea at freemusicarchive.org or tweeting @andreasilenzi 


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Listener comments!

Avatar 4:07pm
BW:

showlenzi!
  5:18pm
Scott N:

When I hook up with someone, and really don't want to see them again.... but they want to see me again... how do I let them down gently? Is the text-message fade away ethical here? Also, what do I do if they start posting to r/askgaybros about me?
  5:19pm
Scott N:

http://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/1jpwgm/dealing_with_guys_who_suck_at_texting/
Avatar 6:01pm
Danne D:

Yay Andrea :)
Avatar 6:01pm
Danne D:

Hi everyone
a/s/l ?
  6:04pm
Sternum:

Hahahaha.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm
Ike:

1998?! There didn't seem to be a lot of women on dating sites in 1998! (Or maybe I was looking on the wrong sites!) Kudos to her.
Avatar 6:10pm
Danne D:

If there's anything I've learned from dating sites it's that I'm much more popular in the Ukraine apparently...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:10pm
Skirkie:

Pretty sure I didn't even have a computer yet in 1998.
  6:13pm
?:

I like movies and cool books, are you single? I'm tall and thin, free Thursday ;)
Avatar 6:14pm
Danne D:

Wait errand dates are now a thing? I recall an e-date that went so bad it kinda turned into an errand date.
Avatar 6:14pm
Matt from Springfield:

Evening everyone! Is it still International Beer Day? Who cares! I've got mine! :D
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

#1 rule of dating: Do NOT, under any circumstances, live in New Jersey.
Avatar 6:15pm
Danne D:

@Greg no shit.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:15pm
Ike:

GREG, YOU SAID IT. No joke.
Avatar 6:15pm
Matt from Springfield:

Funny, I've just started online dating myself...

@Danne: In my short time there, it seems that you're right, particularly spambots with poor grammar and don't read English well. I must be a superhunk to those bots...
Avatar 6:15pm
steve:

hahaha
Avatar 6:16pm
Matt from Springfield:

Wow, all the New Jerseyans agree! :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:16pm
Ike:

(But many other places are even worse.)
Avatar 6:16pm
Danne D:

@M_f_S "I like your structure you seem good man."
Avatar 6:17pm
Danne D:

E-dates in the city seem to end with me going to the Strand afterwards since it's cheap and I don't usually get out that way unless I'm on an e-date
Avatar 6:18pm
Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: As long as they call you and leave voicemails saying that, I think Thunk Tank would approve ;)
Avatar 6:18pm
Danne D:

Coffee dates are brutal for the "interview scenario" - what are great ideas for 1st dates that enable interaction w/o being things that involve no talking (like movies)
Avatar 6:20pm
Danne D:

I find myself doing searches outside a radius of an artibrary town within New Jersey to try to generate more New Jersey results.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm
Ike:

IMHO, the problem w/HowAboutWe is that I like a bit of tea/coffee screening first. The "interview" quality can be stressful though, but how else to determine quickly if this person is problematically insane or grating? You can't always tell online. I do not want to be stuck with a person who stresses me out for an entire balloon ride or whatever complex, creative idea date.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm
Skirkie:

Only two dates I ever got from the internet were from fellow Jersey folks. I've had zero success with the internet.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

I do the same thing. Morristown, 07960.
Avatar 6:21pm
Matt from Springfield:

Hmm, non-interaction first date. Good idea!
Though that seems harder for me to suggest with girls I meet IRL. Blind dates and online setups are easier to suggest a movie as a first date, IMO.
Avatar 6:21pm
Matt from Springfield:

@Greg: Are you the one who always gives your north Jersey ZIP code to Tom S? :)
Avatar 6:22pm
Danne D:

I always actually ask her if there's a place they are comfortable meeting.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:22pm
Ike:

Danne, Greg, me too! OKC has a 25-mile radius built in, so yeah, I use Morristown or Boonton if I want to exclude snobby New Yorkers.
Avatar 6:23pm
Danne D:

Starbucks is good for trying to sell shady MLM products
  6:24pm
e:

this is terrible.
Avatar 6:24pm
Danne D:

sorr-e
Avatar 6:25pm
Matt from Springfield:

Noise is a prob for me trying to understand talking. Panera is a good lunch first date, that's about the "right" noise level.
Avatar 6:25pm
steve:

geez, dating sounds complicated
  6:25pm
Danilo:

Great Show
  6:25pm
Danilo:

Great Show
Avatar 6:26pm
Matt from Springfield:

@steve: It's difficult, for those with any type of social anxiety :(
Avatar 6:27pm
Danne D:

I'm with Andrea, I think a fair balance is the way to go - I think it's reasonable that it be proportionate (Chiara figured out the word I was looking for)
Avatar 6:28pm
Danne D:

I am not sure I'm down with the sneak play. Though that's something I'll do with friends actually.
Avatar 6:29pm
Wretch:

Can't hit that "send" button until you're crafted the exact perfect response! Next thing you know, a week has gone by....
Avatar 6:29pm
Matt from Springfield:

"Jim the Poet Laureate" JIM!? :)
Avatar 6:29pm
Danne D:

Poets get all the girls *sigh*
Avatar 6:31pm
Danne D:

half plus 7.
Avatar 6:31pm
Matt from Springfield:

But *I* could pass for a poet!! Maybe I should take my berets out of the closet and grow a goatee...
Avatar 6:32pm
ottovonbqe:

Andrea - just say no.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:33pm
Skirkie:

The street formula is for the older person to go half their age plus seven.
Avatar 6:33pm
Matt from Springfield:

Wow, WFMU programming continues to break into scary new territory each day! :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:33pm
Skirkie:

See, if I were him and I already got the date, I'd save the poem for later.
Avatar 6:33pm
ottovonbqe:

Make sure the date is in public at least.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm
Greg from Bloomfield:

This is fantastic. It should be called the "Andrea Showlenzi Finds Herself In Increasingly Awkward Radio Situations Show"
Avatar 6:34pm
Matt from Springfield:

28 = 21-42
40 = 27-66
Avatar 6:35pm
Danne D:

over/under on rest of callers asking Andrea out on a date.
Avatar 6:37pm
Danne D:

Good question - what do you consider google etiquette ahead of a first e-date? (i don't actually do this btw, but the topic has come up in conversation)
Avatar 6:37pm
Matt from Springfield:

Yeah, how are those religious date sites! Frangry's mentioned the desperate, repressed messages from "wewaited.com"
Avatar 6:38pm
steve:

why does the institution of dating exist at all? why aren't there also sites for finding new friends, just like there are for finding dates? im very introverted and have never consciously been on a date in my life... but have managed a good handful of great girlfriends and long term relationships over the years, just randomly meeting women in real life through mutual interests. the ritual of "going out on a date" sounds so bizarre and unpleasant to me.
Avatar 6:39pm
Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: I dunno...see if anything blatant, unambiguously that person (as opposed to one with the same name) shows up? If they don't show up right away, probably best not to dig in too deeply.
Avatar 6:40pm
Matt from Springfield:

@steve: I'm not sure about that...but with the Internet the way it is, I'm sure there must be something out there for just meeting friends.
Avatar 6:40pm
Danne D:

@M_f_S I concur. Was curious what the expert's view was.
Avatar 6:40pm
Danne D:

Politics is always tough in terms of dating.
Avatar 6:44pm
Matt from Springfield:

"That's not a funny username! How am I supposed to mock this user when I meet her??"
Avatar 6:45pm
Danne D:

Other difficult not drinking and not being like a bible thumper
Avatar 6:45pm
Danne D:

I'm shocked that Andrea has an okcupid user name that's not FCC friendly
Avatar 6:46pm
Matt from Springfield:

Or, did she just not want to publicize it?
Avatar 6:48pm
Matt from Springfield:

"The National Weather Service advises you to seek shelter, in a dry apartment with a fleece blanket and a cute guy..."
Avatar 6:49pm
Nick the Bard:

I can't even say how hard dating is for me, because I can't even get anyone to go out with me (conversation goes fine, bring up meeting, all contact dies).

Maybe if I liked the convention scene it wouldn't be so bad. Stupid internet people.
Avatar 6:51pm
Matt from Springfield:

@Nick: Which convention would be your first choice to check out?
Avatar 6:52pm
Nick the Bard:

@Matt: anything that didn't feel like I'm paying $30 to go to a flea market and gawk at type cast actors and broken wrestlers
Avatar 6:54pm
Danne D:

mentioned how my phone number spelled something to an e-date who had never done that with her phone number and she explains "mine spells WACKO" (and she was)
Avatar 6:54pm
Nick the Bard:

I'm also more convinced that most of the girls on OKCupid aren't really there for dates but more to brag about themselves and their accomplishments.
Avatar 6:57pm
Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: That was prescient of the phone company!

12 close relationships? I've got work to do.
Avatar 6:58pm
Matt from Springfield:

"Let's Be Monogamous: The Musical!!!"
Avatar 6:59pm
Danne D:

Goodnight lonelyhearts :)
Avatar 7:00pm
Matt from Springfield:

Thanks Andrea and Chiara! Stimulating discussion tonight!
Have a good night everyone!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

@Danne (6:54) - Ha, that's a good one. For a good time, call 1-201-32WACKO today! My name trivia is that you can spell my last name with numbers on a calculator and then turn it upside-down (7 = L, for example).
Avatar 7:00pm
Matt from Springfield:

Benjamen Walker's Lonely Hearts Club Band! :)
Avatar 7:02pm
Danne D:

@Ken wait you've date her too? I didn't give out the rest of the number (actually I have forgotten the rest of the number)
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