Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from January 25, 2017 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options January 25, 2017: Farm Fresh Comedy, Made Right Before Your Eyes
Seven Second Delay gets topical! Andy's pal David Feldman is in the studio as a guest. As AP wire news stories break, Ken, Andy and David plan to come up with jokes about the news stories, and the Tweetworthy jokes go out over Twitter. David kicks things off with a couple of Mary Tyler Moore observations. A Jenny Finch story comes across the wire, and the crew struggles a bit to come up with a joke about it. But then things start rolling with tweets about Bison Slaughter, NFL concussions, and Governor Tom Wolf! Other joke topics include police dogs, the Trump wall, Syrian refugees, the National Park Service, the Cheneys, NFL drones, and the Confederate flag. Also, Beth calls in to give a recap of the Women's March in DC and a bison limerick!

Recap by Andrew M.

Listen to this show:  Pop‑up player! | Add or read comments


Everybody should follow tonight's guest writer David Feldman, on twitter. His twitter account is: https://twitter.com/david_feldman_

If you like a tweet on his account, retweet it. If you don't like one of his tweets, retweet it. If we say it's funny, it's funny, Trust us. Have we ever lied to you before? David is very depressed. He's going through a divorce and his ex-wife took half of his twitter followers and she is fucking most of them. Do what we say.

Artist Approx. start time
Ken & Andy  0:00:00 (Pop‑up)

Listener comments!

  5:57pm Listener Robert:

"Farm fresh"? Does that mean corny? Get better, Ken. You know Andy's just not funny on the air by himself.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:01pm dgg:

are we gonna get to play w the robot again?
Avatar 6:02pm Undead83:

Cheers guys, let's begin to rock
  6:03pm Listener Robert:

You had a staff meeting while you had the flu? You trying to start an epidemic at WFMU?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Enter your jokes in the comments and the comedians will evaluate them. Here goes:

Q - Why is it you never see <insert minority> working at a lumber yard?
A - Would you hire a <minority>?
  6:04pm Listener Robert:

I have one of David Feldman's books, "Do Penguins Have Knees?" Dave Lindelof gave it to me for my birthday, or some holiday.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm dgg:

"And you think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm dgg:

holy shit I had all of those "do clocks go clockwise" books as a kid.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm Nick the Bard:

aaron, sorry, they do have a topic and stuff tonight, and i was running late, so i don't know how tight on time they're trying to be
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm Nick the Bard:

(nothing against you, don't worry)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm common:

i miss the robot.
  6:08pm melinda:

I loved the MTM show
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Damn it, why are you reading my comments before I type them. geez
Avatar 6:09pm Undead83:

@ common I think the robot only runs on Ken's Show xP
  6:09pm Listener Robert:

I was just looking a few days ago at a YouTube of her doing a soap commercial.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:09pm dgg:

@David Feldman your 2013 Mort Sahl interview was excellent
Avatar 6:10pm dale:

andy has a masturbation rider in his contract. i have no idea what that means.
  6:10pm Listener Robert:

Where was David Feldman's interview of Mort Sahl published? You sure it wasn't Mort Sahl's interview of David Feldman?
Avatar 6:11pm dale:

didn't mary die in a hot air balloon accident?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:11pm dgg:

if you have a rider is it still masturbation? Also, yeah! It's on YouTube.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:11pm common:

@undead83: i think so.
Avatar 6:14pm dale:

valerie harper is still alive, and i think she was hotter than mary.
Avatar 6:15pm dale:

mary tyler moore didn't make it after all.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm Asheville Jon:

which sank faster: the titanic, or this show?
Avatar 6:20pm dale:

it took the titanic 2 hours and change, sooooo...........
  6:22pm melinda:

Dale I feel bad for laughing at that but I did.
  6:22pm JoelA:

Copyright for AP breaking news site is 2015... no kidding
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm silent-H:

Just the FMU doc. sex and broadcasting...sounds like a joke set-up.
Avatar 6:24pm cosmic matrix:

(andy is a rock star)
Avatar 6:25pm dale:

which melinda?
Avatar 6:25pm dale:

andy is a sedimentary rock star
  6:25pm Sam:

We told him to take a bite outta crime!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:25pm dgg:

haha ok the "AP" one got me
  6:27pm melinda:

@dale: the one about Mary not making it after all
Avatar 6:27pm dale:

is andy snapping his gum and clicking his pen or clicking his gum and snapping his pen?
Avatar 6:28pm dale:

ah - that felt wrong when i wrote it. i posted it earlier and fb so i guess it didn't feel THAT wrong.
  6:28pm Sam:

Trump needs a whole forest of redwoods just to color his hair!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm Linda Lee:

most of the tweets from the Parks Service are more interesting than that ..
  6:30pm Sam:

The good news is, the orangutan preserve has been greatly expanded to include the white house
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm Asheville Jon:

Hello Linda Lee! How's it going?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm Linda Lee:

good news on the Bison slaughter!
  6:31pm Sam:

Bison, or biden?
  6:31pm giraffe-o:

"If news breaks, it was probably Seven Second Delay that broke it"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm Linda Lee:

going well Jon! you?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm Asheville Jon:

Been a good few days, thanks.
Avatar 6:31pm dale:

...ted nugent makes bingo plans.
Avatar 6:32pm dale:

sam - HA!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:32pm Linda Lee:

good to hear it!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:33pm Asheville Jon:

glad to hear you're doing well too. how's the weather?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm Linda Lee:

icey! asheville too?
Avatar 6:34pm dale:

damned if you do, damned if you don't
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm Folsom:

there's a cheney joke somehow
  6:35pm Kellyanne Conway:

Andy is funny, alternative fact
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm Linda Lee:

back in our day, a shotgun meant just one joint ..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm Asheville Jon:

nope! was in the 60's today.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm Linda Lee:

oh my gosh. that sounds fantastic. ..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm dgg:

Dick cheney didn't have the common decency to offer.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:36pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

'Tough but fair.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:36pm dgg:

"The US felt so bad about invading Iraq, Iraq has been offered a four year occupation of Florida"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:36pm Asheville Jon:

it was nice. supposed to get colder over the next few days though. that's fine with me!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm Linda Lee:

too soon for the 60s .. true
  6:37pm muwfInMA:

can one go through a day in the US and not hear of or see guns!? been normal for way too long
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm Asheville Jon:

it's been a very warm winter. i want cold!
  6:38pm Sam:

The thing is, Ken and Andy are funniest when they're not trying to be funny. They're funniest when they're tryng to do normal things like reserve hotels or deliver pizzas. When they're sitting there trying to construct jokes, it's not as funny.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:38pm Linda Lee:

do you have snow?
Avatar 6:39pm dale:

bamboo splints under the nails work - just ask marla!
  6:39pm Sam:

I'm feeling kind of whip and cheney tonight.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm Linda Lee:

(probably not today, i guess!)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Trump doesn't CARE if torture works, he just likes it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm Asheville Jon:

me? snow? nothing even close to that.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm cory:

mobile.nytimes.com...
Avatar 6:40pm dale:

he said 'hard on' - heh heh
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm cory:

whoops, this isn't messenger. sry
  6:41pm moontana:

In response to slaughter ban, bison turn guns on themselves. Montana has the highest suicide rate in the nation. We're number one, we're number one!
  6:41pm Pete from Boston (and NJ):

I'm still sitting on a voucher for a replacement prize for the unproduced Seven Second Delay sex tape. Can I use it for this so-called graphic novel? Will it be as graphic as the sex tape?
  6:42pm Sam:

Technically you're supposed to shoot the bison, and then give it the gun and ask it to shoot you. That's what gentlemen do.
Avatar 6:43pm dale:

matt moore - walk it off
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Horrible, but: 'If only her "followers" would take the term literally.'.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm cory:

how about the NFL drone story?
profootballtalk.nbcsports.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm WFMU listener WADE:

comedy made fresh...like snails being stepped on
  6:45pm Pete from Boston (and NJ):

God is my witness, I thought footballs could fly.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Couldn't they call them something more racist than 'drones'?
  6:46pm Sam:

Ha good one murakami
  6:46pm Sam:

you too pete
Avatar 6:47pm dale:

"i love my fourth wife....."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm redkayak:

what's the twitter handle again?
  6:47pm Sam:

There once was a man named Frelinghuysen
Who didn't want people to hurt bison
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm Linda Lee:

david_feldman_
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

'When they found out who' s President, they BEGGED us to shoot them.'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm redkayak:

@LInda 10-4 :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Funny how Trump never calls the Confederates 'losers'….
Avatar 6:50pm dale:

thumbs up! HA HA ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa...........
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:51pm Asheville Jon:

www.youtube.com...
  6:51pm Sam:

It's ok to joke about school shootings, but a guy who doesn't have cancer? Stay away from that.
Avatar 6:52pm dale:

don't get testy people.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm dgg:

mort sahl and david feldman: www.youtube.com...
  6:52pm Sam:

Prostate cancer is a pain in the balls!
  6:52pm moontana:

Wait a minute, that story about the kid asking his victim to shoot him sounds like fake news. Are Ken and Andy making this stuff up?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm dgg:

How bout: "Doctor gave Governor thumbs up and it came out clean"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Doctors say Tom Wolf can go home again.
Avatar 6:53pm dale:

dgg - too much imagery
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm sweeks:

I'm realizing that Andy is actually kinda funny
  6:54pm tq:

@midnight
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm dgg:

@dale hahaa
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm dgg:

@dale hahaa
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:56pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Mattel's stock needs batteries.

Barbie's going to have to go back to being a sex doll.
Avatar 6:56pm dale:

mattell sells flat - barbie sells dream house.
  6:56pm Listener Robert:

Thanks for the link, dgg.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm Asheville Jon:

pure Ken and Andy comedy here: www.youtube.com...
  6:57pm moontana:

Great show but I miss the robots.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm dgg:

@dale yeah, I was going for clean bill of health. But got "doo doo on thumb" instead. @rob: for sure, its good
  6:58pm moontana:

The robots seemed more human.
Avatar 6:59pm dale:

bikini girls on deck!
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