Favoriting In Real Life with Emily and Kimzilla: Playlist from February 20, 2019 Favoriting

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In Real Life is a weekly show hosted by Emily and Kimzilla on WFMU. In each episode, Kim and Emily follow their own curiosity to interview people on about a variety of themes, getting the real scoop and learning about the real people behind each topic. Previous WFMU aired episodes include topics such as circus performers, taxicab drivers, bartender therapy, alien abductions, nudism and so much more.

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Favoriting February 20, 2019: Gaylord Fields, the Man Behind the Cardigan.

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Listener comments!

Avatar 6:29pm
kimzilla:

Hi all! Were busy salting the fine roads of NY and NJ tonight, but rest assured, you are in fine hands of the great board op Nick the Bard. Enjoy!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm
ultradamno:

The blissful return of adult vocabulary
Avatar 7:01pm
Richard S:

Hello!
Avatar 7:03pm
khd:

HEY-OOOOOOO
Avatar 7:03pm
Linda Lee:

Gaylord!!
Avatar 7:03pm
khd:

is this live?
  7:04pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

From one end of the English language to the other
Avatar 7:04pm
Linda Lee:

don't think so, khd. check kimzilla above. ^
Avatar 7:04pm
khd:

got it - thx
Avatar 7:05pm
khd:

very cool, nonetheless, love gaylord
  7:05pm
JakeGould:

Rerun but a very good episode.
  7:05pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

I heard the podcast of this. It's amazing stuff. Go listen to the extended version
Avatar 7:07pm
khd:

"i speak in the most clear, crisp voice" haha
  7:08pm
Emily:

hey everybody! sorry I'm a little late to my own show...
this is a re-run from the summer podcast, and Aaron's right! there is an extended version on the podcast. check it out!
Avatar 7:09pm
khd:

hahahahahaha
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:09pm
melinda:

I recommend the extended version too.
Avatar 7:10pm
khd:

CORPORATE CREDENTIALS BUDDY - FOOK OOF lol
  7:12pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

So we go to an hour of literal baby talk to one of the most well spoken djs on fmu. Only here
  7:12pm
Listener Robert:

A card from NBC News doesn't just say, "I'm legit." It says, "I can embarrass you on TV."
  7:14pm
Emily:

@Aaron ah yes, it's really the variety of programming that makes this place so special...
Avatar 7:15pm
khd:

it means the same thing, you have connections into the upper middle class ideology, there are repurcussions for fucking with me because of those connections, unlike before, when you were unaware of them
  7:17pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

Can you tell me why assuming an African American person does a jazz show offensive. I mean no harm. Just trying to understand
  7:18pm
Johnzon:

there's another group that gets the "how do you know that" questions. children
  7:18pm
Johnzon:

messed up
  7:18pm
kimzilla:

I was telling my local dr that when Gaylord came to visit me he confessed that he was slightly nervous coming to my house in Hunterdon County where it’s a very white and a bit country) and his response was “Well, tell him we’re scared of his neighborhood too!” WTF?

Hi guys! Thanks for listening and being on the message board.
  7:20pm
Emily:

@Aaron Oh I think the idea is just that one wouldn't look at a white DJ in the same position and assume what kind of music show he has—but there's the assumption being presented there that Gaylord, because he's black could only have certain taste in music so he must have a jazz show or a hip hop show, etc.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm
Gaylord Fields:

@Aaron: Would a white person be asked, "Do you do a country show?" at WFMU? No, that person would be asked, "What kind of show do you do?" rather than being labeled. (Jazz shows are often done by black people at noncommercial radio stations.)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm
Tommy in Neversink:

Aron ..it's a way of being boxed in . Like assuming blacks are only going to be interested in Jazz, blues, soul, funk, hip hop, R&B
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm
Gaylord Fields:

What Emily said.
Avatar 7:21pm
Fox:

There's also the assumption that if you are "well spoken" you must be half white. I know that my boyfriend got that assumption made all the time.
  7:22pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

Ah gotcha. Thanks Emily and gaylord!
  7:24pm
Kate:

Hi all. Been listening on my phone but just getting to the comment board.
Good show tonight.
Avatar 7:24pm
khd:

well, that was a nice resolution. only here, at WFMU :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:24pm
queems:

thanks for having this conversation, gaylord, emily & kimzilla
  7:25pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

Hey Kate long time no see
  7:25pm
Kate:

Aaron!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:25pm
Gaylord Fields:

@Fox: Yup! Or it's often presumed that I'm of Caribbean ancestry, because something something. (Both parents were born in the segregated Southern U.S.)
  7:26pm
Listener Robert:

But Emily and Mr. Fields, if you play the odds, stereotyping the minority makes sense, while stereotyping the majority doesn't.
  7:26pm
a.:

Hi, longtime fan of Gaylord's show and I wanted him to know it's brave and cool of him to be so open about these experiences.
  7:26pm
Kate:

What queems said. This is not an easy conversation to have.
Avatar 7:26pm
khd:

also, can i recommend readsettlers.org?
  7:27pm
Johnzon:

thanks for doing this show gaylord this is really interesting, I appreciate you explaining/exploring these things, sucks that you are expected to explain things you shouldn't have to explain all the time, so thanks for sharing now, this is a very important conversation
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:27pm
Gaylord Fields:

@Listener Robert: You left the quote marks off "makes sense"!
  7:27pm
JakeGould:

@Aaron: When people find out I am Jewish (by reading my name) they assume I like Kelzmer music and can give them tips on where to go for good Jewish deli in NYC.

Also, someone at WFMU bluntly asked me once if I was “really Jewish.” And then when I asked yes, asked me a fairly obnoxious question about my opinion on Palestine.

It’s prejudging people as fetish objects. And it shows a patronizing view of others based on “genteel” prejudices.
  7:28pm
JakeGould:

@ListenerRobert: Your “brilliance” never fades.
  7:28pm
Emily:

Listener Robert, I would argue that stereotyping nobody "makes sense." I would like to give everyone a chance to just tell me who they are instead of making assumptions—after all, it's just as easy to ask "what kind of show do you do?" as it is to ask "do you do a jazz show?"
  7:28pm
Listener Robert:

I meant it in terms of betting odds making sense.
  7:29pm
a.:

"Why don't you believe me" is the hardest and weirdest thing to get your head around when you discuss racism in general & racism towards black Americans in particular. They will look a black person in the eye and tell them their life experience is wrong. I guess because they have to, otherwise they might have to question their own ideas and positions.
Avatar 7:29pm
khd:

gaylord - i hope the next half of ths show be about 1970s soundtracks
  7:29pm
JakeGould:

NYC has more than a new neighborhoods that are superficially “enlightened” but when it comes to food and entertainment biases? OMFG! “Mmmm… So authentic…”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:29pm
Philthy woman:

So glad your all talking bout this
Avatar 7:29pm
khd:

or i will be disappointed
  7:29pm
Listener Robert:

Emily, I meant the comparison you made didn't make sense. There are SO MANY white DJs, betting on any of them playing C&W you'd have to get odds.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm
Gaylord Fields:

@a. @Kate @Johnzon: It was not easy to do this

@Listener Robert: Reducing people to statistics is kind of the problem.
  7:30pm
JakeGould:

Thanks for doing this.
Avatar 7:30pm
Fox:

I am so glad that I've spent my life since my early 20's living in mostly non-white neighborhoods. It's forced me to be conscious of my whiteness, and I'm now, as a consequence, constantly aware of my whiteness. I am always self-questioning my internal racism, and my position in society.

I remember when I was in my mid twenties, one of my best friends from NJ visited me in Brooklyn. She'd been so used to being the only black person around for all her life. She was amazed and amused that my roommate and I were talking about people in our 'hood and referred to someone as the "white guy" because she'd never heard it before. I have made a point to go out of my way to always quantify "white" as often as I do any other race identifier.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm
queems:

we white people need to do a lot more listening
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm
Philthy woman:

-Out loud
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm
dale:

i'm afraid of gaylord because his dust covers premium was so killer.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:31pm
Gaylord Fields:

Listener Robert: May I ask you to stop chatting and start listening?
  7:31pm
a.:

@Gaylord I think we've all been needing to have these discussions a lot more, since Nov. 2016 - and I'm glad to be hearing it on the air. I know my friends are doing it more, in real life and online. Because we absolutely have to.
  7:31pm
Johnzon:

Im bisexual lol... if anybody has any questions about bisexuals... ask the internet. jk.
  7:31pm
Listener Robert:

Gaylord, it may be a "problem", but the heuristic shortens the communication process.
  7:31pm
Aaron in Minneapolis:

Of course I assumed Billy jam was black for the longest time so I'm not perfect
  7:32pm
Listener Robert:

OK, I'm listening. But so is Aaron, etc. It's fun to engage.
  7:32pm
Kate:

What a fabulous goal to shoot for: to allow people to be themselves and still have a seat at the table.
  7:33pm
Emily:

@Gaylord thank you so much for talking to us about not easy things.

@Listener Robert: I don't think we need to go around shortening the communication process. What a shame that would be. I want to give people a chance to explain things in their own words! Let's not bet on who people are, anyhow.
  7:33pm
Alix!:

Which dj is talking right now?
  7:34pm
a.:

I would read the sh*t out of your book Gaylord
Avatar 7:34pm
northguineahills:

TBH, there isn't much room for anyone to be (or desire to be) a freeform dj, that's why WFMU is a treasure....
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:34pm
LCBD:

I agree, queems!
  7:34pm
Johnzon:

sounds like a really cool concept for a book... do it!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:35pm
LCBD:

Right on, Fox!
Avatar 7:35pm
djsheilab:

Three cheers for Janelle Monae! I'm thrilled to have caught this show. Thanks for sharing so openly, Gaylord. And I hope you'll write that book!
  7:37pm
JakeGould:

FWIW, I find this Eater piece to be something everyone should read on the topic of how racial biases show up in seemingly simple things: “According to a study of Yelp reviews for NYC restaurants, judging restaurants by ‘authenticity’ tends to put non-white owners in a trap.” ny.eater.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:37pm
Gaylord Fields:

@djsheilab: Thank you, dear friend! This isn't easy and it's not fun. But it's important, and I'm so pleased that Kim and Emily gave me this space.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:37pm
chris:

so happy to hear this! don't know how i missed it the first time around. work has been doing a bunch of unconscious bias training and i love it. i thought i was so enlightened and aware. lol. please write that book, Gaylord.
  7:37pm
Johnzon:

Ive been watching this youtube channel called the black experience japan... it's all interviews with black people living in Japan... mostly but not exclusively Americans. Ive found it pretty illuminating, both re. black experiences & japan
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:38pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

Hello, life ring. Lots of ideas to ponder tonight.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:38pm
Webhamster Henry:

In college, I was friends with some actual Africans, and they had to deal with African American baggage.
  7:38pm
Kate:

I remember when Emily first noticed skin color. We were at the cash register a shoe store. And the clerk was black. She was three. She said "Look Mama, his arm is chocolate brown and your arm is peachy peach!" She talked a lot as a kid.
Avatar 7:39pm
Fox:

Gaylord: It's interesting how many similarities there are between your experience and what my exbf had expressed to me about his own, being a black punk and metal head and comic nerd.
  7:39pm
Emily:

@Fox: I wondered if he had a similar experience, too.
  7:40pm
kimzilla:

Hi shelia, happy to have you on board!
  7:40pm
Emily:

@Kate: I talked too much as a kid...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:40pm
Gaylord Fields:

@Fox: I am so unsurprised about that, and I assume he'd say the same.
  7:41pm
Kate:

ohhh! I hadn't ever noticed that ratio, fascinating.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:43pm
Layet J:

Loving this talk, thanks everyone!
  7:43pm
Kate:

@ Emily, no it was a beautiful innocent non judging statement of what was that the Clerk appreciated very much.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:43pm
Gaylord Fields:

@kimzilla: Also, it's curious that your local dr assumes I live in a place hostile to whites.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:45pm
I am the Upsetter:

Great conversation.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:45pm
Layet J:

As a straight white male art educator, I teach a lot of freakiness for sure... but I try to teach art history every week in the studio. I guess my slideshows are like my freeform visual DJing... I'm not great at it, but I recognize I know how important it is and get better at and more knowledgeable every week. Anyway, this show is inspiring as all get out (as they say in the Carolinas.)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:45pm
coelacanth∅:

it *seemed* better. i didn't think at the time there was any reason for optimism under Obama; but things have gotten many times worse because of ronald mcdonald trump than they would've gotten.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:46pm
coelacanth∅:

(and hi Emily & Kimzilla & Gaylord, & listeners)
Avatar 7:47pm
djsheilab:

Hey Kimzilla + Emily—This show is profound. And thank you for bringing up the discomfort of talking about these issues for fear of stepping on toes, etc. I have always chosen avoidance over discomfort and it's something I would like to change.
Avatar 7:47pm
Fox:

Every time he'd come home later than expected, I'd be worried. Dating a black guy with Tourette's makes you perpetually fearful of your boyfriend getting shot by police.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:47pm
Tommy in Neversink:

This one of the most interesting shows ever on FMU
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

Yeah, coel. I'm distressed by the way the current White House occupant is sending this country backwards in so many ways.
  7:48pm
JakeGould:

@coelacanth∅: Trump is making it easier to express hate. This whole “National Emergency” thing scares me not for the immediate threat of the idiocy of it all but rather how even if it fails, it still will embolden racists and hate filled idiots to act out.
  7:48pm
kimzilla:

@gaylord, exactly! I made no mention of where you live. His assumption was culturally automatic. He just assumed you live in a dangerous neighborhood, I told him “you couldn’t afford his neighborhood.”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm
LCBD:

I missed it... what documentary are they talking about?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:50pm
Gaylord Fields:

@kimzilla: Perfect comeback — thanks for having my back!
  7:51pm
Emily:

@ LCBD the Rachel Dolezal documentary on netflix! I might have spelled her name wrong.
  7:51pm
kevlicki:

Just tuning in and excited to hear difficult topics being discussed on WFMU!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:52pm
LCBD:

Thanks Emily. Will check it out.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:52pm
Tommy in Neversink:

I went to segregated schools till I was nine (1967) in NC and MS
Avatar 7:52pm
northguineahills:

talking about the "Wall", my wife's citizenship process is coming up next month (she's from Mexico), and we both got laid off w/in the last month, and last year the visa process was hell, and she has grad degree and makes a great living (well, until getting laid off).
  7:53pm
Emily:

@LCBD I haven't seen it yet, either! I need to check it out.
  7:54pm
John from Florham Park:

It has really gotten to the point with me where I don’t like to talk politics with people, and just would rather listen to music or sports, and as for trump he is nothing but an asshole
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:55pm
coelacanth∅:

no. "we" have not come far. a lot of people would be doing some horrifying shit if they could get away with it. people have not evolved for at least hundreds of years. people do the right thing more because of reasoning it out than because they inherently know better.
Avatar 7:55pm
Fox:

I went to highschool in Sparta, NJ. We didn't get MLK Day off. That's madness. We haven't progressed that far.
  7:55pm
JakeGould:

Read some article where some pro-Trump guy in the U.S. near the Southern border turned anti-Trump when he realized that a nearby butterfly sanctuary would be potentially devastated by the wall. So when the guys butterflies get threatened that’s where the line is drawn? There you go.
Avatar 7:56pm
djsheilab:

I took Killer Mike's advice (on Stephen Colbert) to watch this race experiment conducted by Jane Ellliot many years ago. It's worth your time. www.youtube.com...
  7:56pm
JakeGould:

“I voted for Trump. Now his wall may destroy my butterfly paradise.” LOL! STFU! www.washingtonpost.com...
  7:57pm
Emily:

Oh, thank you Sheila! I will check that out.
  7:57pm
kevlicki:

Gaylord, much love and respect to you for sharing yourself and history. I look forward to listening to this in full on the archive.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:57pm
Webhamster Henry:

Here in Ulster County, NY, there's a lot of history of Sojourner Truth, who was a slave here, and sued for the freedom of her son. Her first language was Dutch. So that's another view of slavery. In fact, historians are trying to buy up the slave burial ground here before it gets developed on.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm
Gaylord Fields:

@kevlicki, et al.: Thank you (and everyone) for listening with an open mind.
  7:58pm
Kate:

echoing what kevlicki said, thanks Gaylord.
  7:58pm
?:

You can't decide to be black, and being female isn't a decision either (born in gender or not). However, in both cases - Rachel Dolezal feeling black or moving into a correct gender - there is a process of enculturation that effects everything and is entirely missed. Women are raised under certain expectations, cultural treatment, gendered standards etc. that someone raised as a boy (or vice versa, girl to boy) will never have full understanding of. Rachel Dolezal is missing the whole experience and day to day treatment of having grown up in black skin. My family is made up of immigrants from poor communities in Northern Mexico and Poland during WW2, the whole history is lost to me after my great grandparents. Thanks for this program!
  7:59pm
John from Florham Park:

Interesting program guys thanks
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm
Gaylord Fields:

@Kate: Thank you for your insights (especially about Emily)!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm
queems:

thanks kimzilla, emily, and especially gaylord
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm
coelacanth∅:

Thank you Gaylord!
and Kimzilla & Emily for suggesting this
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm
LCBD:

Excellent show - great conversation! Thank you!!
Avatar 7:59pm
Fox:

Thanks!!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm
Ken From Hyde Park:

Thanks, Gaylord & hostesses. Straight ahead!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm
ultradamno:

Thanks E, K and G. Was definitely worth another listen
  8:00pm
Emily:

Thanks to Gaylord and my mom and all you guys! xoxo see you next week!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm
Webhamster Henry:

Thanks for the show .. and of course for Gaylord's show!
Avatar 8:00pm
djsheilab:

Very glad you chose to re-broadcast this! Thanks all!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm
Gaylord Fields:

Thanks, everyone, especially Kimzilla & Emily!
  8:01pm
JakeGould:

Thanks E & K.
Avatar 8:05pm
kimzilla:

Thanks Gaylord and everyone here tonight adding to the conversation. XOXO
  3:43pm
D from PA:

Gaylord, I appreciated this very much, thank you. Not a "person of color" myself, and I learned a lot. You said it wasn't comfortable for you, and it wasn't for me either. I felt so angered and saddened by so many things, but not surprised by anything. Everyone should be free to color with all 64 crayons. No boxes either, the crayons should also be unencumbered! lol This is a great show, I'm glad it's out there!
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